I first wrote this story below in the fall of 1997. I was the “Field First Sergeant” of the reconnaissance, decontamination, and smoke platoons from the 91st Chemical Company. We were participating in a training rotation in Hohenfels, Germany for about seven weeks.

With a lot of time on my hands while the soldiers were out training, it occurred to me that 20 years earlier I had met my wife in college. To properly celebrate that major event in my life where God was indeed present with us, I began to write a family biography. I wanted to put down our love story for future generations. The book was entitled The Spark is Still There.

The day I proposed was June 24, 1979. You never know what a day may bring.

Blame it on the Fried Chicken

Since my dad was an executive for Trans World Airlines, I could fly anywhere they flew (first class, even) for free. I had planned to come to Colorado every three or four weeks that summer to spend the weekend with my girlfriend, who stayed in Fort Collins. I came out in early June, and was going to visit her again on the weekend of June 24th and 25th. Something happened that weekend that changed our relationship as a couple. It makes for a fun story.

I was not planning to ask her to marry me that day, but I did. I have to blame it on the fried chicken. I know that she didn’t use her culinary skills to try to manipulate me on purpose, but this day turned out to be yet another one of those spontaneous moments that marked almost every key event in our relationship. So much for trying to do things logically!

She made some fried chicken for a picnic we planned at a park by a small lake. She fixed it just like her grandmother used to. Boy, was it good! I was impressed. I thought that I could get used to eating like this on a regular basis. So, when I finished eating, I said something like: “I’d really like to grow old with you. Will you marry me?” I don’t remember her exact response, but it was something like, “Yes!”

Believe it or not, earlier that same day, we had actually been talking about becoming engaged a few months down the road. We had tentatively planned a late summer wedding after my graduation in May the next year. By proposing sooner and getting married in December, we ended up with a longer engagement than expected (a full year and a half), but it worked out fine.

Now it was official: we were getting married! I didn’t have a ring to give to her right away, but we had hoped to get one between Thanksgiving and Christmas. She did have the Mickey Mouse promise ring I had given her in back in January.  It was going to have to do for a while longer.

Reflection

Why am I sharing this personal story with a wider audience than just my immediate family? What could possibly be my motivation? It’s not too hard to figure out. This story is relevant now.

If you know me at all, you know that my faith in Jesus Christ is central to everything I do. Even as a new Christian back in the mid-70s, I knew that God was in control. God clearly led me to this girl who was not quite 18 at the time we met in September 1977. God gave me wisdom as I had prayed consistently over the next couple of years that He would make it clear whether or not she was “the one.” I was absolutely certain that she was, so I committed myself to marrying her.

Proactively celebrating every relationship milestone anniversary; i.e., first meeting (Sep ‘77), dating (Apr ‘78), engagement (Jun ‘79), and wedding (Dec ‘80) reaffirms our commitment to our spouse, which brings us closer. When the husband takes the lead in doing this every year, it is a visible demonstration of obedience to the command for husbands to sacrificially show love to their wives (Eph. 5:25).

When we take the time to reflect on and express our gratitude to God for bringing us and keeping us together all these years, it gives us an opportunity to worship the One who is the source of all good things (James 1:17). When we intentionally celebrate God’s blessings at these critical moments in our lives, we acknowledge not only His presence, but His leading and for answered prayers as well. Moreover, if God was present with us and led us together as a couple in the past, He will continue to do so now and into the future, no matter what we go through in this life.

Closing remarks

How do you celebrate the major milestones in your own marriage? If you have not done this consistently, it may be a challenge at first. However, it is life-changing. You could write your own love story and share it with your spouse, children, and grandchildren. Or, you could just find some time to share with your spouse what is on your heart, expressing your gratitude to them.

How do you experience God’s presence in your life? You can do it daily. It takes a little bit of practice to acknowledge what God’s Word says is true about God all the time (See Ps. 139:7-12.)

I am convinced that the more we recognize, reflect, and rejoice in the major events that led up to the covenant of marriage to the spouse that God gave you, the deeper our love can be. No matter what season of life you are in now, if God called you to it, He will always bring you through it.

(Note: I invite you to read a related article I wrote last fall on marriage as a calling.)

Russell E. Gehrlein holds a B.S from Colorado State University and an M.A. from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. A retired Master Sergeant, he continues to serve the U.S. Army in a civilian capacity. He and his wife of 43 years live in Missouri and enjoy spending time with their grandchildren. To read more of his work please visit Reflections on Theological Topics of Interest.

Image by DeepAi