In the 1991 film Hook, Peter tries to console his son, who is disappointed that his father has once again missed a baseball game. Seeking to make amends, Peter promises to attend every game from then on, assuring him, “My word is my bond.” His son, unconvinced, responds with a skeptical, “Yeah, right!”
The son’s doubt stemmed from experience—his father’s repeated failure to follow through on his promises. In today’s society, commitment seems to carry less weight with each passing year. A person’s word no longer holds value. Public declarations of commitment have become hollow. Even legally binding agreements often fail to ensure true dedication. Commitment, once a pillar of integrity, now feels as rare as the Northern White Rhino.
In the United States, 18.3 million households are without a father. Additionally, 40 to 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Commitment, once a deeply held value, appears to be shifting. More accurately, people are committing to unhealthy relationships and destructive habits rather than to what is right. Society excels at devotion—but often to selfish passions and desires. Many remain steadfast in their commitment to alcohol, drugs, and abusive lifestyles. Yet, when it comes to being committed to another person, self-interest too often takes priority, overshadowing the virtues of loyalty and sacrifice.
When I was a child, I was taught that if I made a commitment to something, I will see it through. I loved playing baseball. However, there were days that I didn’t want to go to practice, because I knew that I would have to run laps, and I hated running. My parents would remind me that I made the commitment to join a team to play baseball, and that not going was not an option. I was taught that commitment was more than words, it was action, a lifestyle, a way of living. Commitment was a reflection of my character, and a person of integrity was someone who remained true to their word and dedication to others.
Consider that last statement—commitment and integrity go hand in hand. How can a person of integrity not also embrace commitment? When someone chooses to abandon their commitments, their integrity comes into question. Where there is no integrity, there can be no true commitment.
So, what does that say about society’s view on integrity? Rather than teaching it, expecting it, and holding people accountable to it, society has largely dismissed integrity as neither essential nor valuable. Perhaps this mindset explains why our country faces so many fatherless homes and broken marriages.
Why do people resist supporting and encouraging integrity and commitment? The answer is simple—it requires them to take responsibility for their actions, choices, and decisions. Without integrity and commitment, they can shift blame rather than hold themselves accountable.
Commitment isn’t just a decision; it’s a way of life, a core part of one’s character. Yet, our society no longer prioritizes or instills the importance of strong character in young people. Instead, it promotes selfishness, self-centeredness, and egocentrism. When these qualities take root, integrity and commitment are among the first values to be abandoned.
We must return to teaching, instilling, and upholding the values of commitment and integrity. It’s time to move away from selfishness and egocentrism and embrace responsibility for our choices and actions. Being people of our word and living with integrity should be the standard, not the exception.
Society must once again prioritize love, support, and encouragement over vanity and self-interest. If you’re not willing to follow through, don’t commit. If you’re not ready to honor the vow of marriage “till death do us part,” then don’t make it. If you’re not prepared to step up as a father or mother, don’t engage in actions that require that responsibility.
Life is not just about you. As Marcus Aurelius wisely stated, “Men exist for the sake of one another. Teach them then, or bear with them.”
Dr. Kristopher Wallaert is an educator in Mountain Home, Idaho. He enjoys being outdoors – hiking, camping, and hunting. He also finds peace in taking care of their property. He and his wife have been happily married for over 14 years. Together they have four phenomenal children – three girls and one boy. He holds a doctorate in education with an emphasis in leadership and administration. Kristopher has a yearning to be a man of God for his family, and to be a good example for his children. You can find more about Kristopher in Selfless-Leadership.
Image Created Using DeepAi
Well mentioned Kristopher, most people are only committed when they work for their own interest but show inconclusiveness towards projects meant to benefit other people. Mother Teresa once said ; ” Life not lived for others is not life.”
Your friend -His servant,
Isaac Otieno