MAN UP!

What has happened to the men in this world? Nearly every day, I hear stories of men abandoning their families, treating their wives and children with disdain and disrespect. I’ve witnessed mothers and wives weep as the men they once trusted choose selfish desires over the commitment to love and care for the woman they vowed to cherish for a lifetime. I’ve seen children in tears as they watch their fathers walk away, shattering their sense of normalcy. I’ve listened to heartbreaking accounts of men telling women that their child is a burden, saying, “You should have aborted them when I told you to.” Men who behave this way are not real men.

Anger fills every fiber of my being when I hear stories like these. This is not the life God intended for men. Yet, the more we remove God from our society and daily lives, the further we stray from His design. I wrestle deeply with this, because on one hand, I feel intense rage towards men who choose to live this way. But I also recognize that our godless society has contributed to this problem, and my anger burns against the godlessness that permeates it. There is a battle raging within me, a longing for justice. I believe this is the closest I can come to describing righteous anger. 

I understand that men who do not know Christ or have not submitted their lives to His authority cannot grasp the way God intended for us to live. This is where my intense rage against the godlessness in our society burns the strongest. The Devil has done an effective job of corrupting men and distorting the very essence of who we were called to be, amplifying selfishness, narcissism, self-absorption, self-indulgence, and egocentricity. Each of these qualities serves a single purpose—to undermine the very essence of how God created us.

The purpose of manhood is to protect, serve, and love. Man was never meant to be alone. In the book of Genesis, it says: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:18, 21-22). We were created for relationship—especially with a wife for whom we are called to love and serve. Yet, the Devil has done a masterful job of convincing humanity that we are better off alone.. 

God is the perfect example of pure relationship—three distinct persons in perfect unity, sharing the same authority. If we are made in the image of God, then we are designed for relationships. The Book of Genesis states that woman was created as a helper to man, not to be dominated, controlled, or made less than. She was made to complement and support man. It is a man’s responsibility to serve, protect, and keep women and children safe. This does not imply that women are inferior; rather, it emphasizes that by design, man is called to care for the women and children in his life. 

A real man actively pursues a strong relationship with his wife, making her a priority in his life. He strives to see her succeed, feel valued, and most importantly, loved. He invests in her well-being, ensuring her needs are met before his own. He sets aside pride and selfish ambition, serving his family selflessly and making sure her cup is filled first.

A real man respects his wife deeply, providing a positive, humble, and strong role model for his children. He demonstrates the kind of partnership they should seek in their own future relationships. He leads his family with confidence, humility, strength, and love, always putting their needs above his own desires.

A real man understands the value of hard work, knowing he works not for himself but for the benefit and support of his family. He embraces his responsibilities rather than dreading them, recognizing that his efforts contribute to his family’s stability and happiness.

A real man holds himself accountable, taking ownership of his actions without making excuses. He controls his anger and ensures it is never directed at his loved ones. He never feels the need to escape his family; instead, he leans into them, investing time and energy in his wife and children.

Most importantly, a real man honors his commitments and remains true to his word. If he promised “’til death do us part,” it will take death to separate him from the vow he made. He never abandons his family and remains steadfast, fulfilling his duties as a husband and father with unwavering dedication.

Here’s the key: these qualities and characteristics will only flourish when a man humbles himself and submits everything he has to the authority of Jesus Christ. Without this submission, a man becomes enslaved to the lies and deceit of the Devil, often causing harm to those closest to him. An unsubmitted man tends to be selfish, conceited, disrespectful, and lacking integrity. While the world may celebrate or excuse these traits, they fall far short of the true standard of manhood.

I urge all men to examine their hearts and reflect deeply. Return to the true identity for which you were created. Turn back to Christ and embrace His standard. Shed the old self and put on the true identity of manhood: humility, selflessness, service, protection, honor, commitment, and strength found in Jesus Christ. These are the genuine qualities of manhood. It’s time to reject the false identity promoted by society and instead become men of God, not followers of the Devil’s deception.

Dr. Kristopher Wallaert is an educator in Mountain Home, Idaho. He enjoys being outdoors – hiking, camping, and hunting. He also finds peace in taking care of their property. He and his wife have been happily married for over 14 years. Together they have four phenomenal children – three girls and one boy. He holds a doctorate in education with an emphasis in leadership and administration. Kristopher has a yearning to be a man of God for his family, and to be a good example for his children. You can find more about Kristopher in Selfless-Leadership.

Image by Buono Del Tesoro from Pixabay