A Frank Discussion About Failure

Once in a while, I will get hit from out of the blue concerning one or more of my many failures. I do know where those spiritual attacks come from. (To quote the late singer Carman, when Satan reminds me of my past, I remind him of his future.) However, it is important to know what to do when we are confronted with failures because of one simple truth: We will fail. Christians are not exempt from failure. Since God created humans, He is mindful that we are dust (Ps. 103:14).

What does failure look like? First, we fail God whenever we sin. Second, we fail ourselves when we fall short of a personal goal we set for ourselves. It may be that we were not designed to be successful in this area. Or, perhaps we needed to press on, and in God’s timing, we would achieve our goal. Third, we fail others when we do not meet their expectations. We may have to work harder to improve or maybe we have to accept our limitations. Sometimes our best is not going to be good enough.

Please join me as we explore what God has revealed in the Bible concerning this topic. Let me paint a picture of what to expect when we do fail (or perceive that we have), what we can learn from failures, and how to respond when we do.

You will fail

Let me be brutally honest. As an older man who has failed quite often throughout his life and has survived, I can promise you there is no escaping. Failure will be a common experience, no matter how old you are. The only ones who don’t fail are those who never try to do something new.

Check this out. Gene Veith, in his book, God at Work provides an astute observation. “Failures in vocation happen all the time. Wise statesmen find themselves voted out of office. Noble generals lose the war. Workers lose their jobs, maybe because they are not good at what they do, despite what they thought.”

I know a little bit about failure. I was fired from my church youth ministry position, and thus, did not finish my seminary degree. I was an ineffective Army recruiter and platoon sergeant. I used to get angry at my kids. I know I let my wife down too many times to count. I am not the godly man I want to be.

I think that failure hits Christians pretty hard for a number of reasons. We know that God is omnipotent, so we understand He sees everything. We don’t want to disappoint or displease God, not out of fear of eternal punishment, because that issue was definitively dealt with at the cross when Jesus paid the penalty for all our sins, past, present, and future. But we want to please God out of love for Him.

We also may be led to believe that success is guaranteed for Christians in terms of health and wealth by those who preach “name it and claim it.” They quote numerous verses about God’s blessings for believers, which are true, but are taken out of context. For example, the Apostle Paul said that he could do “all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). This verse was never intended for Christians to think that they could do literally anything. I will never be able to do a whole lot of things that I was not designed to do or be. I cannot be a professional athlete or rocket scientist.

The right theological perspective is that until Jesus returns, we all live in a fallen world because of sin that has impacted everything. Things are not the way they were intended to be. The world and the Prince of Darkness will set us up for failure. Our flesh, even those of us who were redeemed by grace through faith in Christ, will let us down. We all have limitations and will make mistakes. We will chose poorly.

You can learn from your failures

My wife and I are very proud of our three adult children. They are responsible, compassionate, talented, and independent. They have seen much success in their fields. They have also had their share of failures (or perceived failures): as a mother dealing with challenging children, as an actor trying to get a role in a television show or independent film, or as an author trying to get his first book published.

Our middle child failed many times in his long journey to find a literary agent to help him achieve his goal to become a published author of children’s picture books. His determined persistence in pushing through 600 rejections has been an inspiration to other writers. (Click here to read more about his amazing story.)

What helped him press on diligently with passion and patience despite such opposition was his Christian faith. He trusted God, knowing that He had great plans for him. He knew that this idea to write books for children and their parents was from God. He got smarter after every failure: how to write a better query letter, how frequently to pursue the same agent, and how to improve his stories. His first book came out in 2021 and two more are in the process of being published.

When our failures fall under the category of falling short of our own goals, there are always many things that we can learn from them. The biggest thing we learn from them is humility. When our actual or perceived failures come from the unmet expectations of others, Christians usually refer to these things as trials. We can rejoice in our trials because they will build our faith (James 1:2-4).

Failures should draw you to God

More important than learning from our failures, part of their divine purpose is to get our attention and lead us to boldly approach the throne of grace where we will find mercy and help (Heb. 4:16).

The first thing is that when we have failed God through sin, we need to repent and confess it as soon as we can. (See 1 John 1:9.) My understanding of Jesus’s atonement for our sins on the cross means that we don’t confess to receive God’s forgiveness. We already have it. We confess to reestablish our fellowship with God. Admittedly, this is sometimes hard to do. Our pride sometimes gets in the way. Once we boldly approach the throne of grace, humble ourselves, admit our failure to obey God, ask Him to restore to us the joy of salvation (Ps. 51:12), and ask Him for strength to press on, we will find restoration. We can then experience His presence again.

Second, when we fail others, this should also draw us to God. For example, when we have failed to deliver on a promise we made to someone, we have not loved our neighbor, and thus, we have sinned against God and man. Once we confess our sin to God as described above, we can then ask God for wisdom and courage to find a way to reconcile with those we disappointed. Jesus taught that it is our responsibility to take the first steps to reconciliation, even if it wasn’t our fault (Matt. 5:23-24 and 18:15.) Paul also commands believers to make every effort to get along with others (Rom. 12:18).

Third, when we find that we have failed God, ourselves, or others, we have to press on and trust God to bring about restoration in His time. I have found it extremely helpful to meditate on Rom. 8:28, where the Apostle Paul reminds us of this powerful biblical principle, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” For example, when my assignment as an Army recruiter came to an abrupt end due to not meeting monthly quotas, I was sent to a post where two years later God used me to get 168 men to two Promise Keepers Conferences. Thirty years later, a young man that I recruited told me that I had changed his life. (Click here to read an article I wrote about this moving reconnection.)

Closing exhortations

The bad news is that we will struggle with failure for our entire lives. This may be discouraging if things are going well, but it may be good news for those who are struggling now to know that this is the “normal” settings for life on this earth. There will come a day when Jesus returns that this will not be the case. But in the time between His first and second coming, sin which causes our failures will reign.

God does in fact work all things for the good for those who love Him. We will learn from our failures if we are seeking to be wise. Our experience in handling failures and trials will build our faith. It will humble us, and perhaps make us more sensitive to others who may be in a season of failure right now.

Let me leave you with an well-known exhortation from the Apostle Peter that seems to fit: “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).

Press on!

Russell E. Gehrlein holds a B.S from Colorado State University and an M.A. from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. He is the author of Immanuel Labor – God’s Presence in our Profession: A Biblical, Theological, and Practical Approach to the Doctrine of Work. As a retired Master Sergeant, he continues to serve the U.S. Army in a civilian capacity. He and his wife of 43 years live in Missouri and enjoy spending time with their grandchildren. To read more of his work please visit Reflections on Theological Topics of Interest.