In elementary school, we learned to play a game called “Musical Chairs.” The game is designed to have one less chair than the number of players. When the music starts, the players circle the chairs continually. When the music stops, everyone sits down, but whoever does not have a chair is left out, removed from the game. As a player, one’s goal is to find a seat, even if the seat must be taken by force. The winner is the person who occupies the final chair. Throughout the game, after each round, someone is eliminated – excluded.

I want you to visualize this game. Perhaps you even played it when you were a child. Remember how it felt when you were the one who was out? It was not so bad since it was just a game. Now, imagine walking into a church where you know absolutely no one. It takes courage to keep from feeling left out. It may feel like being on the losing end of a perpetual game of musical chairs. It feels disconnected.

People matter, spiritual growth matters, and connections matter. It is a Christian’s responsibility to make disciples. It is our calling. It is in our DNA. We, the church, are to be the friendliest, most welcoming people on the planet. We are to create community and connections.

A while back, our church performed a demographic analysis of our guests and new members. We gained this knowledge from guests returning registration-type cards and from our membership files. We were able to discern individuals’ ages, how far away they lived from the church they lived, and other information. This helped us understand a lot about who attended, who joined, and who moved on.

We also administered a questionnaire to everyone who attended our worship services. To be sure we got a decent sample, we did this three Sundays in a row. Each person identified their age group, their classification, and whether they were a guest, a new member, an attender, or a member. This survey helped us understand the attitudes, participation, and perceptions of these various groups.

Here are some of the things we learned:

• • Most people believe in the importance of connecting with other people.
  • Most believe Sunday school or other groups provide that opportunity.
  • Most people did not feel strongly that the church provided clear explanations concerning involvement or that the church had made efforts to help them connect with others.
  • New members were more likely to attend Sunday school or another group.

When we combined the results from the demographic study and the questionnaire, we discovered the following:

• • There is a strong connection between Sunday school or another group and new members.
  • The key to additions was found in people connecting with others through Sunday school more than any other group.
  • New members displayed more positive attitudes concerning the idea of connecting with others through groups and about the church’s efforts to help people make connections with others.
  • Attenders who were not newcomers or members but attended regularly showed less overall satisfaction with the idea and practice of connection, as well as with the church’s efforts to provide clear directions to become more involved and connect with others.

To summarize what we discovered:

• • Respondents believed connecting with others is important.
  • They believed the church did not provide clear expectations about how to become involved and even less that the church made efforts to help them connect.
  • Churches should try harder to connect people.
  • Within the differing groups, the highest percentages of those who attended Sunday school were new members.
  • New members are the most likely to attend some type of small group or Sunday school.

Academic research of other sources confirms that there are three leading factors that stand out in helping people become fully engaged: involvement in worship, a small group, and some type of ministry or service. Quite simply, involvement in worship, groups, and ministry is essential for someone to feel well-connected with a church family. Every person must be lovingly and caringly treated uniquely with the goals of evangelism and disciple-making.

We all need connections. The Bible even emphasizes God’s connection with us and our connection with one another and others. Galatians 6:1-10 is one passage that helps us understand this.

In Galatians, Paul is addressing the problem of non-Jewish Christians being tempted to return to a particular Jewish ritual. He tells them there is nothing more needed to make their Christianity legitimate, and he argues that Christ freed them for the sake of being free in him. Jesus is sufficient and there is not a greater requirement. To argue for a greater requirement is a sin.

With all the various beliefs and potential controversies in the world, today, we still need one another. We still need to be well-connected. In Galatians 6:1-10, there are five benefits of being well-connected in a church family:

• • Restoration – A more mature believer is to lovingly restore a believer who goes astray.
  • Sharing the Load – Christ requires that believers love and care for one another.
  • Staying in Check – There is no room for pride in Christianity. We must remain humble with one another while we help each other grow.
  • Mutual Growth – Help one another grow spiritually. Invest in spiritual things, not corrupt things.
  • Mutual Investment – Continuing to care for one another will pay off for all parties and for

    God’s Kingdom in good ways. We must treat everyone well, but deeply invest in other believers.

Fellow believers, we cannot play musical chairs, allowing someone to frustratingly be left out. Invest in others by making strong connections. It is essential. It is our responsibility. If you feel disconnected, there are some fine churches in our area. I urge you to find the one that fits!

(For an expanded exploration of this subject and more, examine Kevin’s book, You Belong Here: How to Help Your Church’s Guests Become Family, available at Amazon.)

Dr. Kevin Garrett has over 30 years of ministry experience in music, student, recreation, education, and pastoral leadership. He has written youth and adult curricula for LifeWay Christian Resources and is passionate about helping individuals and churches grow spiritually and engage across generations. Kevin holds degrees from Jacksonville State University (BS, MA) and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (MDiv, DMin), specializing in church health and next generation ministries. He and his wife, Tina, serve at First Baptist Church of Atmore, AL, and enjoy time with their children and grandchildren. Learn more at his website.

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