Grandpause: The light of a holy example is the gospel’s main argument. –R. L. Dabney

What does intentionality as a grandparent look like? It might surprise you to know that being intentional does not mean talking to your grandkids about faith and the Bible in every conversation you have. But it did mean taking seriously the Biblical mandate to tell the next generations who God is and the amazing things He has done when the opportunity presents itself.

Intentionality is a way of living out that responsibility in the natural course of doing life together. Here are five components of intentionality that will hopefully make sense to you whatever your situation:

1. Cultivate an environment of trust and respect in your relationship with your grandchildren. Don’t let yourself believe that the younger generations don’t want to hear your story or your views on issues. However, they won’t want to hear what you have to say if you are preachy, negative or judgmental.
2. Be authentic and transparent about your relationship with Christ and what you know to be true.Nothing so turns off the younger generations than hypocrisy. It’s not enough to say you believe something to be true. Exude joy and excitement in living a life of faith and truth. Christ must be more than one of the heroes in your life. He must be Lord and your all-satisfying treasure—the most exciting relationship you have.
3. Be alert to opportune moments to talk about life by listening well. I hope you know that most parents, especially Christian parents, want you to have a positive impact on their children. They don’t want their kids getting all their information about life from peers, media or their teachers. Listening well opens up opportunities to talk about life and truth you might not otherwise have.
4. Don’t hide your imperfections, but make sure your marriage is healthy. It’s okay to let them see you working hard to make marriage what it ought to be according to the biblical definition of marriage. Nothing will counter the lies about marriage and family in today’s world more powerfully than a good marriage, with all its imperfections, serving as an example of what it looks like to grow more fully into maturity in Christ.
5. Honor your grown parents’ authority. They have the primary responsibility for training and disciplining their children, not you. Never discipline your grandchildren in front of your adult children, unless they have given permission and deem it appropriate.

So, what are some practical ways you express ‘intentionality’ in your relationship with your grandchildren and adult children? Is there anything you would add to this list?

Calvin Harper is a graduate of Baylor University and Denver Seminary, Cavin Harper served as an associate pastor for 17 years before founding ElderQuest Ministries which later became known as the Christian Grandparenting Network. He writes a weekly blog on grandparenting and has authored several books including Courageous Grandparenting: Building a Legacy Worth Outliving You.

Featured Image by Tung Lam from Pixabay