What Can I Say? 

Sometimes I feel like I am just a lousy grandparent. My closest grandchildren are 2 hours away, another two live 3 hours away, and 2 more live 6 hours away. That’s not all that far in the grand scheme of things. They all have smartphones, except the youngest (three). The oldest is full time National Guard, the second is not employed currently, the middle granddaughter is a nanny to my Great Grandchild, son of the oldest. The other middle granddaughter is in school and works at a restaurant some evenings. The first boy is in school, and the youngest is a full time three-year-old. They are all busy. But I just don’t take the time to call them, or facetime with them. I can’t explain why other than I have no idea what I should say, or what questions to ask. I can think of a few, but after that I would be stuck. Add to that the fact that I haven’t done it, so my grandkids, and my kids, would be surprised at my call and probably think there was something wrong (I have had cancer, and my wife has some heart issues).

Then we get together a few times a year and all they can say is how great I am. They say I am a good listener and always kind to them. They give me a hug or a peck on the cheek and tell me about their work or school when I ask. They all express their gratitude to me for being a nice Papa. But I never feel worthy of the title. I am not a good talker, especially with kids. I don’t go out of my way to call them or anything to keep in contact, so I don’t see their basis for the compliments. Maybe it’s my own image of myself that is lacking. I don’t know, but I am grateful for the grace they show me.

I am writing all this to ask you a few questions. How do you communicate with your grandchildren that are more distant and seen less? What questions should I ask outside of the ordinary “How are you?”  “How is school (or work) going?” “What have you been up to lately?” And how often should I call?  Should I set up some kind of schedule for myself?

I want to do better and leave a lasting legacy with my grandkids. All your comments would be appreciated, and I will plan to write a follow-up piece once I implement some of your suggestions.  From one grandfather to another, I thank you!

Peter Gardner, is an author, writer and cancer survivor. He is a vivid writer including his book “The A.S.K. Principal”, written while going through cancer, is a very thorough study on developing a more effective prayer life. A second book, A Stroll with the Psalmist: Uplifting Poetry for Everyday Life is one of poetry. Be sure to check out his website/blog with links to his other websites. At 72, Peter stays busy as a professional insurance agent, an associate in a local hardware store, prep work at a restaurant, and is a cartographer. He and his wife, Janeen live in a small town in Iowa and have been married for 45+ years. They have 3 daughters, 7 grandchildren and are welcoming their first great-grandchild in 2024. His life is full! 

Image by RitaE from Pixabay