Dementia Part 4
by Bruce Cooper
Published on April 21, 2024
Categories: Aging | Health & Fitness

Dementia

Part 4

Continued from Dementia Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

“Currently, the good days far outnumber the bad days. Both of us need to be mindful of this reality. God’s steadfast grace is a wonderful gift to behold.”

Communicating to One Another

Being engaged with one another during the day and evening is important. Our routine is relatively straight forward. When we get up, I make my wife’s breakfast, give her meds, and I then make the bed. Having fresh fruits on hand and giving her choices with breakfast is normal. I usually handle any grocery requirements in the morning so that the rest of the day is free to do as we want. If anyone is scheduled to visit, which is always welcomed, I remind her of who will be visiting today. Sometimes one of our sons will bring over supper and sometimes we have one of our sons or daughters over for supper. Grandchildren are always welcome of course. These scheduled visits are always plus activities for both of us. If we have any medical appointment’s I ensure that they do not catch my wife by surprise. All of our activities outside of the normal schedule are annotated on our big calendar and I ensure that she is aware of what is on our schedule for today and also the remainder of the week.

We usually go out for a drive on a daily basis as long as the weather is not really bad. Getting out of the house is also important and infrequently we will have breakfast or brunch at one of our favorite restaurants, which we both enjoy. When the sky is sunny, it does both of us good to get out in the sunshine, winter or summer, it makes no difference. Our daily trips are usually about two hours in duration and very infrequently we may go out for supper. We play our favorite music in the car and talk about all sorts of things. It’s quality time together and that is needed on a daily basis.

Sometimes we talk about the effects of dementia and how it affects both of us on a serious level. I continually reinforce my love for her and my commitment to her and how I will be there for her as long as I breath. We express our love for one another frequently. It’s a beautiful thing. She doesn’t speak of fear of what will come much but she has stated how much if means to know that I am there for her, regardless of. It’s a hard thing to put into words but I need her to know beyond any doubt and she needs to know, she wants to know and she knows. Those words do have to be spoken, say them, often.

God’s Grace

I’ve spoken a lot about how God gives us His grace on a daily basis. This also is a hard thing to put into words. We both need God’s help in dealing with all sorts of things, including our emotions. There are times when I think that God’s grace will have to be off the charts to fix what I have messed up and yet He is always there. You would have to see it to believe it. I frequently marvel. The word “gratitude” has taken on a whole new meaning. So many different aspects, so many different levels. Where we are now and where we were when we first got married are light years apart. I frequently have a hard time comprehending how dense I was and where He has brought us. We dated on and off for about seven years before we got married, which has been ongoing for 53+ years now. Five children, many ups and downs. God is more than able, in spite of our shortfalls. The mist of not seeing becomes a visible path and then a concrete sure road. TRUST HIM. Think of Jesus as the personification of our heavenly Father, because that is exactly who He is. Jesus said that “He who has seen Me has seen the Father.” This is truth.

More to follow.

Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!

Bruce Cooper is a disciple of Jesus, married to Peggy, with 5 grown up children, 7 grandchildren. He is retired from the Canadian Armed Forces and resides in beautiful Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. a.k.a. “Papa.” To read more of Bruce’s work visit Reasoned Cases For Christ.  

Featured Photo by Vlada Karpovich from pexels.com

3 Comments

  1. Robert Arthur Marzullo

    Bruce: what I see in your sharing, as a caregiver, that you have been a WONDERFUL caregiver for your wife, and the BEST caregiver.

    But my question is, do YOU have either family (especially) or professional caregivers come in so that YOU can have some time off or time to get away?

    Reply
  2. Bruce Cooper

    Hi Robert, Thank you for the kind words. The short answer to your question is no, but there are reasons and accommodations for that. I am an early riser and as such I usually get up at about 5:00 AM each morning and I have at least a couple of hours for myself to say my prayers and work on whatever it is I am writing on for my Christian Apologetics blog found at https://bcooper.ca In addition, my wife usually goes to bed earlier than I do, so I get another hour or so after she has gone to bed, for myself. I am aware that there will come a time when my caregiving for my wife will increase substantially and when it does, I do have resources that I will make use of. God manages our days and so far He has and continues to manage them very well. There is a delicate balance that needs to be maintained and I am continually amazed at the grace that He extends to us. One learns to listen very carefully to the leading of His Holy Spirit on what is happening or how to react to a given situation. It’s a hard experience to put into words but things just work out much better when I follow His leading. From the moment my wife gets up until she lays her head down at night, I am there for her. That balance of what I call “oneness” between my wife and myself is vitally important. My wife is 78 and I am 79 so we usually have a nap during the day and that also gives us both a bit of a break. All things considered, God is managing the situation very well and both of us have peace, enjoyment with one another and gratitude for the many blessings we have and are being given. One day at a time is our agreed-upon perspective, the rest is in God’s hands. So it’s steady as she goes for the time being. Thank you for your question and your concern. Blessings!

    Reply

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